First dates are fun and exciting if they go well. If they don't, it can be awkward to end things gracefully. After all, you don't want to hurt your date's feelings just because you two aren't connecting on the same level. On the other hand, you also do not want to lead your date on if you know the relationship will not continue.
Set Up a Coffee Date in Advance of the First Date
By far the easiest way to make sure a first date goes well is to set up a coffee date for the initial meeting. A coffee date is generally an hour in length, with the expectation expressed in advance that after that sixty minutes each dater goes back home alone.
There are times when daters know right away that they aren't right for each other. In these instances, a coffee date allows two people to spend money on a single beverage, which is far less costly than a dinner or movie. It also prevents the two individuals from wasting their time on a lengthy date, when they know right from the beginning that there won't be a second one.
Gradually Build Up the Length of Time You Spend on a Date
One mistake daters make is planning a huge night out for their first date. The best bet (if you're not up for a coffee date) is to meet your love interest out somewhere locally. The place should be somewhere each of you can leave easily and without pressure.
Look at the first few dates as a chance to get to know each other slowly over time. Start with short dates that build to longer outings. This way, you will gradually become acquainted without the pressure of spending hours together right from the start.
How to Tell Your Date the Night Is Over
If you find yourself on a lengthy first date that is going nowhere, you need to think of an exit strategy. Be kind with your words because your date took the time to plan out something for the two of you, so don't scoff at his or her efforts just because you are having a bad time. There are graceful ways to exit without unduly hurting your date's feelings. Some of these are:
- Arranging for a friend to call you with an "emergency," such as locked out of the apartment or stranded at the gas station.
- Arranging for a work college to call you about a work "emergency."
- Faking a phone call where you need to leave.
In this case, you are telling a white lie in order to avoid telling your date that you are having a bad time. Another strategy is simply to look at your watch and say, "Wow, time has flown. Thanks for meeting me out, I enjoyed meeting you." Then, end the date and wish him or her well.
Don't say you are going to call if you do not intend to. Instead, send a polite email afterwards thanking them for the opportunity to meet. Something like:
- "I enjoyed meeting you and while I had a nice time, I think we're probably not compatible. I wish you the best and know that you will meet someone as great as you are. Take care."
If your date insists on knowing what happened, reiterate the message that you are not compatible and don't want to waste your date's time. Always remain positive and remember that hearing this from someone is not easy. Never laugh at your date or be rude. If you can end your date in a positive way, it's better for you both going forward as you continue to meet new people.
Cherie Burbach - Cherie Burbach writes about dating, relationships, health, sports, and lifestyle. She's the author of eleven books and ebooks.
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