Online dating is a great option for singles today, but one consistent complaint among daters is that their matches aren’t truthful about some areas of their life. Getting to know an online date can be difficult enough without having to wonder if the things they have listed on their profiles are true.
Here are some tips to clue you in to your online match’s potential fibs.
Online Profile Pictures That Aren’t Current or Are Posed at Different Angles
The photo on a profile is probably the first thing that attracts you to your online match, but look closely to make sure it’s current. If hairstyles or clothing are dated, chances are your match hasn’t updated his or his picture. Also, if the photos don’t seem to match the age bracket your match has listed, your date may be hiding something.
Photos should ideally complement the overall profile and help tell you more about your match. If your match brags about an active lifestyle, for example, one or two photos should reflect that. Also, at least one photo should be a full body shot.
If your match's profile doesn't have this, he or she may be uncomfortable about weight. Photos that are posed or cropped at weird angles are also a red flag. Bottom line: Your match should have a picture where he or she is smiling into the camera. Anything else could be a clue that they are untruthful about some area of their life.
Online Matches Who Are Married or in a Relationship
If you date online, you should be available for a relationship. However, sometimes people "test out" the dating waters with an Internet profile before they are actually free to date. Their status in these cases probably says "single," so you'll have to pay close attention to signs that your match might be in a relationship. Some of them include:
- Failure to answer your calls in a timely manner
- Only calls you during odd hours
- Will only go on dates during weeknights
- Not forthcoming about personal information
- Insists on going to your place only
- Doesn't want to be seen in public
The best advice is to go slowly with these types of people to make sure they are who they say they are. You might be able to realize the truth simply by the lies they tell or how they act. If you have any doubt at all, back off. Trust your instincts if you feel your match is hiding something.
Lying About Money or Activity Level
Another common, although less harmful, lie online daters sometimes tell relates to money. People feel very uncomfortable posting their actual salary and may adjust it up or down on their profile. Income level is a very personal thing, and the desire to keep this information private is understandable. It's also hard to be judged based on your income level before someone knows you, so if your match fudged his salary info give him some slack on that.
Online daters sometimes just want to appeal to more people, and may say they enjoy common activities like skiing, reading, or (the ultimate cliché) walks on the beach, when in fact they really don't do these things. Again, this is a harmless slip and is done with the desire to simply connect instead of deceive.
The only way you can be sure of someone you meet online (or anywhere, for that matter) is to take the time to really get to know him or her. Go slowly in your relationship until you feel comfortable. If something doesn't feel right, talk to your partner or get some distance.
Cherie Burbach - Cherie Burbach writes about dating, relationships, health, sports, and lifestyle. She's the author of eleven books and ebooks.
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