Facebook is becoming known as a detriment to relationships these days, since access to ex-boyfriends and girlfriends is easy to get. Some divorce lawyers even say that it is easier to get evidence of cheating and infidelity on Facebook, as notes and status updates are readily available.
Here's how to protect your relationship while still using the social networking site.
Resist the Urge to Look Up Old Flames
Looking up someone you used to date is easy with Facebook, but before you do it, put yourself in your partner's place. Would you like it if they did the same thing? If you would not be comfortable with your partner emailing or looking up an old flame, you shouldn't do it yourself. The curiosity of "I wonder what happened to…" could just cause your partner unnecessary hurt feelings.
Don't Post Anything That Could be Misconstrued
Remember that tone and gestures don't come through on Facebook, so watch what you say to make sure it can't be taken the wrong way. You may be joking but your post could be taken seriously. Anytime you "like" someone's status or leave a comment, this information could be seen by other people, including your spouse or the person you are dating. So make sure you are being smart about what you post.
Don't Put Up Unflattering Pictures
It's one thing to have a past, and another to shove it in your partner's face by plastering it all over Facebook. Any photos of you with ex's, drunk, acting stupid, or anything similar should simply not be posted. If you are in a new relationship, pictures can be taken the wrong way. After all, someone who has not known you that long might not find them funny because they can't put it all in perspective yet.
If you're in a relationship, pictures become an even more sensitive topic. It's one thing to have prior relationships, and it's another to post pictures of you and an ex so your partner is forced to see them. Once again the golden rule applies. If you wouldn't want to see the same type of pictures posted by your partner, then don't post them yourself.
If Contacted by an Ex, be Cautious Before You Respond
While you might not be looking for your ex online, your ex could be looking for you. You don't know what your ex's personal relationship status is, so give some thought before you accept a friend request or start chatting them up. If your partner knows that you are in contact with an ex, it won't matter to them who initiated the friend request.
Watch Your Posting Frequency
Even if you aren't in contact with your ex's, Facebook can cause problems if you're not totally honest with your partner about other areas of your life. If you post a status saying that you're hanging out with the guys, when you told your partner that you were working, this could be an issue down the line.
The same is true if you refuse to return your boyfriend's call because you're too busy, but yet you have the time to update Facebook. If you are in a new relationship, this could needlessly cause a lack of trust, simply based on the perception you are giving off, so proceed with caution. Before you make a move online, think about your partner first.
Cherie Burbach - Cherie Burbach writes about dating, relationships, health, sports, and lifestyle. She's the author of eleven books and ebooks.
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