Breakups are hard to take, but an essential part of dating. After all, you need to date a few people to find out about yourself and understand what type of person is right for you. While it can make you a little sad, don't let it get you down so you refuse to get out there and try again. The key to getting over a breakup is simply putting it all in perspective. Here's how.
Don't Second Guess the Breakup
You may wonder after a breakup if ending the relationship was the right move. This doubt may creep into your mind regardless if you were the one who initiated the breakup or not. It's natural to look back, especially when you've given it a few weeks, and wonder if you made the right decision. Time naturally heals the hurt and makes you see the good things about your past relationship.
Every partnership has positive and negative things about it. The reason you broke up has nothing to do with your partner or relationship being "bad," so stop thinking in those terms. Instead, think about "right" and "wrong." If someone isn't right for you (for whatever reason, even one you can't put your finger on), then he is wrong. It's as simple as that.
Don't Offer to Stay Friends
Many daters feel a breakup is better if they stay friends with their ex. While a friendship is possible eventually, trying to force one immediately after a breakup is ill advised. In fact, being friends with someone right after a breakup will cause you to doubt and question your choices. It will muddy the situation with lingering feelings of love that have no place in friendship.
If you're determined to remain on friendly terms, tell your ex that you'd like to be friends "one day." The time frame for this will be different for everyone, but if you both move on and eventually find your way back to a friendly status, embrace it. Until then, don't push it.
Don't Date Right Away After a Breakup
In order to truly make your next relationship successful, take some time away from the dating world. Let the amount of time you were in the previous relationship dictate how long you should take by yourself. The reason for this is so you can get out of the patterns you developed with your ex, and instead focus on yourself and what you want and need in a partnership. If you jump into a new relationship too quickly, you risk having the same issues with the next person you date.
How long should you wait to date again? At least two weeks for every four months that you were in a relationship. Some people may need longer than this, however. It depends on how the relationship ended and your own individual personality.
Remove Your Ex From Facebook
Facebook has really changed the way we deal with relationships, and nowhere is that more evident than after a breakup. Tell your ex that while you are healing from your relationship. you'd like to remove him from your Facebook list. This will help you resist the urge to see if he is dating anyone or talking about you.
Keeping tabs on your ex after a breakup means you are concentrating on him and not you. In order to move forward, you need to make sure you're taking care of your own needs. Forget your ex for now. Allow him to move on and instead realize that you've got better things coming for you.
Cherie Burbach - Cherie Burbach writes about dating, relationships, health, sports, and lifestyle. She's the author of eleven books and ebooks.
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