One of the most difficult things about moving on from an ex is wondering how he or she is doing. Seeing an ex with someone new (especially if you haven't met anyone yet) can be hurtful. If you aren't quite over your breakup yet, you might feel the need to compete with your ex in some way. This can cause you to hook up with inappropriate people or at the very least, someone who isn't right for you.
How can you tell if you're trying to compete with your ex? Here are some signs.
You Check Facebook Daily for Signs That Your Ex is Dating Again
Facebook is a dangerous site for relationships today, because it is all too easy to see what your ex is up to. Checking on your ex's wall or viewing his or her pictures will only serve to hold you in the past. When you end your relationship, you should either unfriend your ex or limit your time on the site. This will allow you the proper time to heal and move on in a healthy way.
If you don't do this, you may try and connect with your ex's friends or even old flames you used to have, all in an effort to compete with your ex. This behavior can impair your judgment when starting a new relationship, and will only lead to hurt feelings down the road.
Pushing a New Relationship Too Fast and Too Far
If your ex has moved on, you might be tempted to make your new relationship move a little faster. After all, no one wants to be left behind, and if you see your ex with someone it will prompt an urgency to connect. However, you should use caution when you start up a new relationship of any kind, especially one that you are using as a replacement for your lost love.
You Constantly Ask Friends About Your Ex
If every conversation you have with your pals leads back to questions about your ex, you are indeed trying to compete. More than that, friends will be hesitant to set you up with someone new if they know you are still hooked on your ex. You may even begin to harm your friendship by continually asking about your ex.
There is a lesson to be learned from every relationship. Make sure you allow the right amount of time so you can fully benefit from the experience of a failed relationship before moving on to one that is right for you. Don't worry about what your ex is doing, and instead focus on yourself. That's the only way to truly find happiness in love.
Cherie Burbach - Cherie Burbach writes about dating, relationships, health, sports, and lifestyle. She's the author of eleven books and ebooks.
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